These past couple of weeks have been particularly busy and hard in their own way and it's been hard to see the light in all the darkness. Last week and this week has been filled with midterms and papers and not a lot of time for much else. I have felt very lost and very frustrated as I have struggled to complete all that is required of me. I have had a couple of break downs where all I could think to do was just quit. I've had a hard time finding peace and feeling like I really mattered. I was again struggling with my fears of being alone and as hard as I was trying not to let that fear in, I couldn't seem to find relief. And even though I knew Heavenly Father was aware of my struggles, I couldn't really feel that...til tonight.
I've already spent 3 hours studying in the library today (after finishing work and classes for the day) and I was heading back to the library to study some more. I wasn't excited about it. Anyways, I was walking from my car to library and this guy walked up to me and said, "Excuse me..." I responded, honestly expecting him to ask me where some obscure building was and I was prepared to tell him I had no clue where anything on campus was. But, what he said next surprised me. He said, "Do you want a flower?" It took me completely off guard and all I could say was "Ummm, sure." He handed me a pink carnation and he was gone. I continued on my solitary walk to the library trying to figure out what that was all about. But as I got to the table and started to unpack to study, I realized this experience reminded me of a song by Cherie Call called "He Gives Flowers to Everyone." It's one of my favorites and has a special way of reminding me that Heavenly Father knows exactly how I'm feeling and loves me more than I can ever understand. I want to share the lyrics with you.
She didn't try to catch the bouquet
She knows it's not her turn, and it's okay
Usually it doesn't even cross her mind
That's what she likes to tell her friends anyway
But she can finally say, maybe it was for the best
And there are lots of things she hasn't even missed
Now and then she starts to feel alone
But then she looks outside
She knows she's got roses of her own
Cause He gives flowers to everyone
Not just the girlfriends or the brides
He sees the beauty deep inside
And He gives flowers to everyone
She hangs up the green satin dress
She laughs at how they're always out of style
It was just like all the others in the line
And when they asked her she told them
She'd never been more fine
But still she wonders what it would be like
To talk to someone when she gets home late at night
Sometimes she likes to pray out loud
That's when she knows she's not the only girl alone in a crowd
Cause He gives flowers to everyone
Not just the clever or the elegant
Her cares will never be irrelevant to Him,
He gives flowers to everyone
And when they're out of season, she has snow
And when she's in the desert where they hardly ever grow
He gives her diamonds in the midnight sky
Season after season, His love will never die
He gives flowers to everyone
Not just the mothers and the wives
He sees the beauty in our lives
And He gives flowers to everyone
I love the line in the chorus where it says, "Her cares will never be irrelevant to him," because it reminds that no matter what I'm going through, no matter how I may be hurting, no matter how alone I may feel, I always have someone to talk to, someone who cares, someone who loves me.
I don't know if this "random guy" really knew why he was walking around campus giving people flowers, but I believe that He was an instrument in the Lord's hands in bringing me a tender mercy. I am grateful for him for that. I am grateful for the tender reminder that Heavenly Father is aware of me, that I am not alone, or loved, because He loves me. And I know He loves you. This has reminded me, that when the world feels cold and dark, Father knows how to bring us beauty and light.
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| Even when the world seems dark, our Father knows how to send us beauty and light. |
